


it always looks backwards from the way that i imagine

by ThisIsAGoodSign



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Enemies to Lovers, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:14:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24051166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisIsAGoodSign/pseuds/ThisIsAGoodSign
Summary: When Laura was in sixth grade she was found crying on the side of the road by a girl she didn't know, who then gave her email and told her to use it if she needed to talk. Five years later and Laura still doesn't know who she's been emailing all this time, what she does know is that she cannot stand the girl in her class who wears leather pants and calls her nicknames.-A Hollstein HSAU
Relationships: Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein
Comments: 106
Kudos: 144





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know I'm late but I fell in love with these characters and just wanted to contribute something to this lovely fandom. Also this is my first fic so feedback would be appreciated.

Laura wasn’t even sure why she was crying this time. It’d been happening so often lately she just slipped out the door and sat down on the warm pavement of the sidewalk and buried her head in her hands.

She started middle school in a few weeks and her father was still hauled up in his room and she still hadn’t gotten a chance to process what had happened. So she sat there and cried and didn’t even care how pathetic she looked anymore. She wasn’t sure how long she stayed like that, and she didn’t hear the sound of a bike coming down the street, or the breaks right in front of her. She didn’t move her head until she heard a voice from right beside her.

“You okay?”

The voice was soft and raspy for a young girl and it was like she was trying to sound bored, but her concern was coming through nonetheless.

“Right, I’m, uh, fine. Sorry,” Laura rambled, trying to quickly wipe the tears from her eyes.

“You don’t look fine.”

“Gee thanks.”

The girl looked around awkwardly for a moment, not knowing what to say, before she softly set her bike down in the grass and perched beside Laura on the curb. They sat in silence for a few moments before the girl spoke up.

“Do you want to talk about it?” and when Laura didn’t respond immediately she added, “I mean you probably won’t be seeing me again so if it’s embarrassing or something it won’t really matter. And if it’s bad then maybe I could help.”

She didn’t seem like the kind of girl to ramble but kept talking, her words getting softer as she went until Laura put a hand on her shoulder.

“Can you just stay here for a bit?”

The girl didn’t say anything else, just nodded and sat quietly. Laura tried not to look up at her and show this girl her tearstained face, and when she did her eyes were clouded enough with tears that she would only make out the girl’s dark hair and uncertain smile.

Laura couldn’t tell how long it was that they stayed there, but after a while she leaned her head against the girl’s shoulder and let herself shake as she cried. The girl was stiff and for a while, Laura could barely feel her breathing, but then she wrapped an arm around Laura’s shoulders and pulled her closer.

They were small and probably getting burned in the summer sun, but the girl’s presence was comforting and after a while Laura wasn’t thinking about her parents or her tears or starting a new school, she could just be. It must’ve been a while before she spoke and when she did her voice was hoarse and sounded wrong to her ears.

“Thank you,” Laura said, pulling away. She flashed the girl the brightest smile she could while her eyes were still rimmed with red, and moved to stand.

“I should probably go, but, um, oh wait just give me a sec,” the other girl muttered, digging in her pockets, “ah here it is,” she pulled out a marker and grabbed lightly at Laura’s wrist.

“Can I?” she asked, uncapping the pen with her teeth. Laura nodded and the girl started writing something in elegant cursive across Laura’s hand. When she pulled it back she saw an email address scribled across the back of her hand. “It’s my email, I don’t have a phone yet but if you need to talk or something you can use that.”

Laura smiled gratefully and before she knew it the girl had picked up her bike from the grass and was peddling away.

Later that night she opened her computer and sat for a while trying to think of something to say. In the end she settled on:

_Dear Mystery Girl,_   
_You said I could email you if I needed to talk to someone, can I first know your name?_   
_Best, Laura_

It was a bit formal but it was the best Laura could do. She waited for a while, refreshing the page every few minutes, but eventually gave up and went to sleep. When she woke up she had a new email that just said:

_Well I have to keep some of my secrets, otherwise I’ll lose my air of mystery won’t I?_

Laura laughed and quickly typed a response. She was smiling for the rest of the day and when her dad asked her why she just hugged him and said it was getting better.

-FIVE YEARS LATER-

It took everything in Laura’s power not to turn around and shout something at the girl behind her. They were in the middle of English and one Carmilla Karnstein had been bothering her all year throughout this class.

The girl had a practically perfect GPA despite never once paying attention in class, so the teachers tended to just leave her be as she sat in the back of the room on her phone or half asleep. She wore the same leather jacket and bored look every day as she continued to terrorize Laura just about every chance she got.

Today she’d chosen to do so by kicking Laura’s chair from under her desk. No one else seemed to notice since Carmilla always sat low in her own chair, but for Laura all she could pay attention to is the force on one leg of her chair every couple of minutes.

Laura moved her chair further forward, ignoring the desk digging into her chest.

“That doesn’t look very comfortable, Cupcake.”

Laura huffed in response but didn’t turn around. She wouldn’t give her the satisfaction. She was able to make it through the rest of the class period without snapping Carmilla’s neck, mostly due to the fact that the other girl seemed to find something more interesting on her phone than Laura’s nonresponse.

When they were finally released to start picking up their things Laura rushed out of the classroom as quickly as possible. Once she got to her locker she dug through her bag. After depositing binders and books she checked her phone to find a notification from a familiar email address and felt herself smile despite herself. She’d maintained a relationship with her mystery girl over the years, the two of them exchanging emails about everything from annoying classmates to home troubles to ridiculous anecdotes from the past five years. Laura found herself smiling down at the email reading: _I’m bored, got anything exciting to report?_

“News from the Ginger Giant?” She heard a familiar smoky voice grunt from behind her, “is she finally tall enough to rival a skyscraper?”

“For your information, that wasn’t Danny,” Laura retorted, slamming her locker in Carmilla’s face.

“Ooh you got a new love interest, Cutie? Do tell.”

“Shut it, Karnstein.”

“You wound me,” Carmilla clutched her chest dramatically.

“Oh you’re fine.”

Carmilla just smirked and leaned casually against the lockers beside Laura’s. “Seriously though, who’s the mystery girl?”

“No one.”

“By the look on your face I’d say that ‘no one’ has you smitten.”

“Why do you care?”

“Diplomatic interest.”

“Just leave it Carmilla, don’t you have someone else you could be bothering?”

“Nobody as entertaining as you.”

Laura practically growled that, before taking a breath and opting to just roll her eyes and turn away.

“See you around, Hollis.”

She leaned in to whisper the last word in Laura’s ear, making the shorter girl shiver. Not that she would ever admit that. Carmilla then stalked away and pulled her phone from her back pocket. Laura wore a frown as she looked back down at her own phone.

_Aren’t you supposed to be in class?_

The reply came immediately, a simple: _Hence the boredom_ , but it was enough to make Laura laugh.

_I don’t know what you want me to do about it._

She wasn’t able to see the reply, though, as a form connected with her side.

“Hey, frosh, you done for the day?”

She turned her head to see Laf with their arm around Laura’s shoulder, and Perry standing on the other side with as close to as amused a smile as you could get from her.

“Yep. No clubs for once, you want to do something?”

“Me and Per are gonna head over to JP’s Cafe if you wanna come?”

“Sure,” Laura replied, slinging her bag over her shoulder and following the two of them out of the building. But not before smiling down at her phone one more time to see:

_Any contact from you is enough to clear the boredom._

Laura grinned at the cheesy line and ignored the looks from her friends.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3

Of course Carmilla knows she’d been Laura Hollis’ penpal for the past few years, she’s not an idiot. Laura’s email address is Laura2theletter and she’s even complained to Carm online about the ‘snarky annoyance in leather pants’ that sat behind her in english. But Carmilla had known longer than that who she was talking to.

She knew the first time she saw Laura at freshman initiation that it was the same girl. She seemed more normal without the puffy eyes and a Gryffindor t-shirt, and she was bouncing around like a jackrabbit, but her honey-brown hair and puppy face was just as Carmilla had remembered. Not that she would say anything, of course. Carmilla knew better than to try and connect with the girl who’d already made approximately five friends in the first day; she didn’t need the distraction. So she stayed to the sidelines with Mattie, trying her best to stay as far from Laura as possible.

The only problem being that they had all their classes together the first year. And when the girl dropped her pen by Carmilla’s foot in biology she couldn’t not hand it back when Laura’s face lit up in an appreciative smile. And when her face scrunched together in that cute frustrated way it did during a trig lesson she couldn’t help leaning over and whispering hints close enough to the other girl’s ear to make her shiver.

It took Carm an embarrassing amount of time to figure out she’d fallen for Laura.

Really she should have known it would happen eventually. She took too much pleasure in watching the girl blush, and they’d started emailing every night before she went to sleep. But she couldn’t get any closer to her.

Her mother had never been the warmest person, but when Carmilla came out she went batshit crazy. She started throwing things and shouted at Carm for what felt like hours. Once she was done she told Carmilla to go to her room so she could make a call. The next day Carmilla’s girlfriend at the time, Ell, told her her family would be moving and they had to break up. She could never know for sure but she had a feeling her mother was responsible. She barely talked to her mother after that, relying more on Mattie as a parental figure than she ever had her mother. And she couldn’t let Laura near that.

It was after that revelation that she turned to antagonizing the other girl. She tried to stay away, but after seeing the kicked puppy look Laura gave her when she tried giving her the cold shoulder she knew it wouldn’t last. So she pushed her away the best way she knew how. Sarcasm.

Evidently it worked pretty well.

At this point it wasn’t strictly necessary for her to continue bothering her, but like she said, leaving her alone was easier said than done. Even if her role in Laura’s life would remain the bane of her existence and an anonymous email address.

Which is how she ended up here, in 10th grade english -- the only class they had together this year -- throwing bits of paper at the back of Laura’s head and watching the grip on the other girl’s pencil get tighter and tighter with every piece she threw.

“Stop it,” Laura turned to her and growled under her breath.

“I have no idea what you’re referring to,” Carmilla smirked.

“I’m trying to pay attention to the lecture.”

“You mean the third lesson on persuasive essays we’ve had in the past two years,” Carmilla asked in her typical bored drawl, “come on we both know this, I’m just entertaining myself.”

“Well then entertain yourself with someone else.”

Carmilla raised a brow at that but chose not to comment on it. “And miss that scrunched up face you make when you’re angry, I don’t think so.”

Laura huffed and turned back to the front of the room, where Mr Vordenberg was droning on about something entirely unrelated to his slides and nearly hitting the kids sitting in the front with his cane as he gestured wildly.

Carmilla laughed at Laura, leaning further forward over her desk. When she threw another piece of paper she swore she heard Laura’s jaw crack from how hard she ground her teeth together.

“You can stop that any time now,” Laura hissed, not turning around this time.

“I really wish I could Creampuff.”

“What the frilly hell is that supposed to mean?”

But before Carmilla could reply a voice from the front of the room caught both of their attention.

“Miss Hollis, Miss Karnstein, can I see you both for a moment?” Vordenberg called from behind his desk with that too polite smile of his. The other students were heading out the door or packing away the rest of their notebooks and pens. It seemed while they were bickering class had ended.

“Sir, if this is about today I can assure you it was all Carmilla,” Laura said hopping up from her seat.

“Oh real mature, Cupcake.”

“Oh no need to worry I know how close friends fight. You two remind me of my old pals from My year abroad in Europe. Did I ever tell you about that? Though that’s a story for another time I suppose.”

“We’re not--”

“Besides you two have the best marks in my class I’m not worried about you. That’s actually what I wanted to speak to you about, you remember the honors project for this semester?”

“Yea, you assigned it last week,” Laura confirmed with a confused look, while Carmilla perched herself on one of the desks. “What about it?”

“I was thinking it would be wonderful for the two of you to do it together.”

“What?!” they both demanded. Laura with her mouth gaping open, not unlike a fish, and Carmilla almost falling off the desk in surprise.

“But I was planning to do that project with Danny,” Laura complained, “you said we could do it outside of class with someone in another period.”

Laura seemed oblivious to the Ginger Giant’s infatuation with her, much to the annoyance of both Carmilla and Danny.

“Don’t tell Miss Lawrence I said this, but I do believe the end product would be of far higher quality if you were to do it with Miss Karnstein.”

Carmilla barely contained a laugh at this, earning her a glare from Laura.

“That’s not the point, I can’t work with her she’s--”

“I’ll do it.”

Laura turned at the sound of Carmilla’s voice, her mouth somehow dropping even further towards the ground.

“Excellent! I’ll email you the information and you can begin soon,” Vordenberg clapped his hands gleefully.

“Excellent,” Carmilla copied sarcastically.

Laura was fuming at this point, but didn’t say anything to Vordenberg, just grabbed Carmilla by the wrist and dragged her from the room with more force than strictly necessary. Carmilla just smirked as Laura practically slammed the door and turned to her.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Getting a partner for the honors project, what does it look like,” Carmilla replied smugly as she leaned forward with her hands behind her back.

“Well, stop it. You and I both know we’d make a horrible team.”

“You don’t know that, as I recall we got along quite well last year.”

“Then someone turned into an insufferable...bad person!”

“You might’ve gotten a little whinier but I wouldn’t say you’re a ‘bad person.’”

“You know what I meant. The point is I’m not going to put myself in a situation that forces me to be around you any more than I already do.”

“Harsh. You know I think Vordi would be really disappointed to hear you go back on your word just because you don’t like me.”

“I never agreed to this!”

“In his eyes you did.”

Laura slowed at that. Her angry breaths evened slightly and her arms stopped flapping about so aggressively. She glared at Carmilla as the steam from her ears dissipated. Carmilla counted that as a win.

“What have you gotten us into?”

Carmilla smiled. “I’ll meet you tonight then, partner. You like JP’s Cafe right? Wanna meet there around 5?”

“Wait, what? I never--”

“See you then, Cupcake.”

-

It must have been about half an hour after that that Carmilla’s phone chimed. She was lounging in the back of the library where she could rest her feet on the table without being chastised by stuck up students. She’d been waiting here for Mattie since she left Laura after English and had no intention of leaving for a while. She quickly finished the page she was on before sticking in the bookmark and dropping the book on the table.

She pulled her phone from her bag and saw an email notification on her lock screen. Without thinking she smiled and opened the mail app. She was greeted with about two paragraphs complaining about her own actions in English thirty minutes earlier. Really she should feel bad about causing Laura this much grief, but as she read she chuckled to herself and made a note to go a little easier on her that evening.

As she was about to reply though she heard the familiar tap of excessive heels, so she typed out a quick, ‘ _Sorry, cutie, that’s rough_ ’ before Mattie found her.

“You ready to go kid?”

“I’m only two years younger than you.”

“Yes, but you don’t have a license, so unless you want to walk the 5 miles back to the house I suggest you treat your sister with a little more respect.”

“Oh get over yourself. And I’m going to have to take the bus home today, group project stuff.”

“You are staying late to work with a group?” Mattie asked incredulously, “the same girl that constantly insists confidants and social events are a waste of time.”

“First of all no one says confidants, and I don’t need anyone else.”

“Exactly my point darling, what’s gotten into you?”

“Vordenberg didn’t exactly give me a choice in the matter, really it’s not a big deal.”

Mattie didn’t look convinced, but let the subject drop for now. She shoved Carm’s feet off the table and took a seat beside her. Mattie held her head in her hands with her elbows on the table, waiting for Carmilla to get sick of being watched. To her credit Carmilla lasted a while, but when a smirk spread across her sister’s face she forcefully closed her book and turned towards the older girl.

“What?”

“It’s another girl isn’t it?”

Carmilla groaned and buried her face in her hands, but didn’t dignify it with an answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has an idea for what Carmilla's email should be leave me a comment, I've got a few ideas but nothing that I feel really fits.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly this fic is kind of an experiment for me, so I'm just having fun with it and seeing where it goes. I still hope that y'all are enjoying it and that I'm not too late to this fandom :)
> 
> As always kudos and comments very much appreciated.

“I can’t stand her!” Laura ranted, sitting down on the grass with a huff. They were out on the small field out by the backdoor, Laf leaning against a tree with Perry stiffly postured as ever sat next to them. Danny was a few feet away so she could sit in the sun and Laura had placed herself somewhere in the middle.

“Let me guess, you let Karnstein get under your skin again,” Danny groaned.

“Oh you’ll just love this, Vordenberg is forcing me to work with her for the honors project.”

“I thought we were—”

“Exactly! I tried to tell him that, but Carmilla just went along with it and Vordenberg was all too willing to agree with her over me.” Laura said Carmilla’s name with as much venom as she could muster but it didn’t make her feel any better. She chose not to mention meeting Carmilla after school later, she really didn’t need their pity, or Danny telling her not to go. Laura didn’t know when she seemed to have come terms with her fate but that didn’t mean she didn’t want to complain.

“You know I sit next to her in science and she’s really not that bad if you get to know her,” Laf cut in. Laura sent a glare their way which they proceeded to ignore, “she presents that whole aloof uncaring vibe, but if you hear her talk about philosophy or astronomy she gets really into it. Of course it doesn’t hurt that she’s basically a genius so being her lab partner is easy and actually interesting.”

Perry elbowed them in the ribs and it was then that Laf realised all eyes were on them. “Look frosh, I know you think you hate her, just try not to be hard on her all the time.”

Laura softened slightly, but Danny was frowning now. “She’s been antagonizing Laura for two years, I’m not gonna ‘go easy on her.’”

Laf only shrugged and raised their arms in surrender, though their words seemed to have at least slightly affected the now quiet Laura. An awkward silence fell over the group, making it all the more obvious when Laura suddenly pulled out her phone. She had sent an email to her mystery girl shortly after leaving Vordenberg’s class, but with the stupid school wifi it was taking a while to send.

“What’re you doing?” Danny asked, leaning towards Laura. Laura pulled away, and put her phone back away, but she could see she had a new notification from ‘kreatureofthenite’ though she didn’t have time to see what it said.

“Alright Laura, I know you probably don’t want to hear this but if Vordenberg told you to work with her it’ll be rather difficult to get out of, you know how he is,” Perry said in that worried mother tone of hers, “so you may want to think about what you’re going to do.”

“Sorry Frosh but it looks like you’re just gonna have to bear with it for a bit.”

“Don’t worry, I know that much. We actually already decided to meet tonight to talk about it, I just needed to vent before inevitably bearing my fate and either strangling her or combusting from irritation.”

“You’re really okay with this? She can’t force you to do it if you don’t want to,” Danny barked.

“No Laf’s right, she may be a pain but she’s kinda brilliant, working with her on something like this might not be the worst thing to happen.”

“I can’t believe you’re actually warming up to the idea of doing this with her, she’s been awful to you.”

“She wasn’t always...”

“You’re entirely too sweet Laura, but you shouldn’t let her walk all over you.”

Laura frowned at this and moved to stand up, “I’m not. I can handle myself Danny, I’ve been just fine tolerating her so far.”

Before Danny could formulate an apology or any sort of response Laura stocked away. She didn’t really know why she was irritated with Danny, she just blamed it on the fact that she’d be spending her evening with Carmilla. Ugh.

-

Laura found a table near the back and began pulling out her binder and pens from her bag. She wasn’t as early as she’d hoped, but this was Carmilla we’re talking about if she isn’t fifteen minutes late it would be—

“Hey cupcake.”

“You’re here on time?”

“You have so little faith in me don’t you? I’m the one that invited you, it would be rude of me to show up late.”

Well that was a surprise. Since when does Carmilla Karnstein care about whether or not she’s being rude?

“Right. Well, where do you wanna start?”

They spent the next hour or so discussing the project and jotting down ideas, with minimal snarky comments from Carmilla and even less irritated groans from Laura. Even when Carmilla did taunt Laura though, it wasn’t the usual antagonizing to get a rise out of her, it was more like the friendly teasing Laura had seen in freshman year. Before Carmilla turned into an asshole for practically no reason.

They were only interrupted once by a waiter asking for their order —overly sweet coffee concoction and a croissant for Laura and black coffee for Carmilla (surprise surprise). Carmilla insisted on paying for them, for reasons Laura would never quite understand, but hey, she’s not gonna turn down free coffee and sweets. By the time their drinks arrived the two of them had fallen into a weirdly comfortable silence as they continued their research. Carmilla seemed a little on edge at the beginning, but now she almost looked like she was smiling as she copied down notes.

“Okay so I have to ask, what’s up with you this evening?”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“Oh come on, you’ve barely made any rude comments, you didn’t pick on the shrimpy little waiter and you’re actually pulling your weight. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were being… nice, well for you anyway.”

“First of all Kyle is almost always the one serving me coffee so if I want my daily caffeine dose it won’t do me any good to be mean to him,” Carmilla waved her hand nonchalantly and she repositioned herself on her chair not unlike a cat, “and I figured I already gave you enough trouble today. Doesn’t mean we’re friends or anything though, so don’t go getting all chummy with me Cupcake.”

Well she certainly seemed sincere. She actually almost looked embarrassed about it, behind her disaffected mask Laura could have sworn she saw her blushing. So Lauar should let it go. Yes, that would be the nice thing to do. Just drop it and definitely not rub Carmilla’s actual possession of feelings and empathy in her face. But…

“Awww you do have a heart.”

“The hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, sorry. It’s just that you try to act all tough and badass or whatever, but you’re just,” Laura flailed her hands around looking for the right word, “lonely or something.”

“You don’t know anything about me,” Carmilla snapped. Laura half expected her to stalk out right then, but that would mean having to meet even more to get this work done, so she slunk down in her chair even more and glared at her laptop. It was actually kind of comforting to have this version of Carmilla. Laura could handle an annoying or even angry Carmilla, but the soft teasing one she’d seen earlier was a territory she was not quite ready to deal with yet.

So Laura took to glaring at her own screen and ignoring the girl in front of her. It didn’t take long for her to realise that she wouldn’t be able to get any work done with the tension surrounding them, so she did what she always does when she starts to get stressed out: opened her email. It was then that she remembered the one she hadn’t gotten a chance to see earlier.

_ ‘Sorry, cutie, that’s rough’ _

Cutie? Laura looked up at Carmilla curiously before looking back at her computer. It was just a coincidence. It’s a common nickname. And it’s not the first time Laura had thought her penpal might be flirting with her, it was just...strange. It did seem like it had been written in a rush so maybe she just wasn't thinking. Laura shook her head and typed out her response.

_ ‘Cutie?’ _

Carmilla’s phone dinged. She jumped and quickly snatched it off the table. Carmilla’s eyes were wide as she read the message and then looked up to see Laura looking at her. Weird. She seemed panicked and flustered and Laura was just connecting the dots when Carmilla stood up quickly and started speaking.

“Uh, sorry that was Mattie. She wants me home soon so should probably go,” Carmilla said, though she didn’t make any move towards the door. “Sorry for, uh, well everything I guess. See you later, Cutie—er Laura.”

Then she stuffed her books into her bag in a rush and dashed out the door.

What the frilly hell?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla talks to a certain mad scientist and remains a gay dumbass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were wondering the title of this came from the song Dying to Believe by The Beths. 
> 
> Anyway this fic has kinda gotten away from me, it's moving a little faster than I originally intended and is extremely self indulgent at this point, but hopefully you are having as much fun reading as I am writing it. So enjoy some idiot lesbians you lovely humans!

Shit.

If Laura hadn’t already figured it out it wouldn’t be long now before she did. That was foolish honestly and she should have foreseen something like this happening. The worst thing about it was they only got through the research portion of the project yesterday, they still had like two thirds of it left to do. So basically Carmilla had dug her own grave. And now instead of lying in it she would have to spend the next hour sitting next to one of Laura’s best friends.

Carmilla had nothing against Laf. In all honesty they were one of the closest things Carmilla had to a friend at this school —besides Mattie of course— but the thought of having to talk to them like the disaster the other day hadn’t happened was easier said than done. Carmilla had actually considered skipping this class for that very reason, but it was a lab today and she really didn’t want to deal with the paper she’d have to write to make up the credit. So she got to class seconds before the bell rang and tried not to make eye contact with the mad scientist she was sat next to.

“Hey bad seed,” Laf said when Carmilla sat down.

Carmilla grunted in response and collapsed in her seat right as the teacher started taking. There was a brief overview of safety protocol for labs and a description of the instructions that they’d already gotten last class. Soon enough they were up grabbing materials and Carmilla was ignoring the odd looks Laf was giving her.

“How was your date with Laura yesterday?”

Carmilla choked on nothing. Well that went south fast. 

“What are you talking about?” she sputtered, trying to regain her balance.

“Laura said you guys were working on a project together,” Laf stated calmly, kindly ignoring Carmilla’s fumbling.

“Oh— uh it was fine I guess, definitely not a date though,” Carmilla tried to recover some semblance of nonchalance through her slight panic.

“That’s what Perry keeps saying, but me and JP have bets going on when you’ll get the guts to just ask her out.”

Carmilla gawked for a moment before Laf’s words finally registered and she hissed, “what the fuck are you on about?”

Laf leaned away at her harsh tone, but didn’t back down, “oh come on, you and Laura may pretend to hate one another, but I’ve never seen anyone else hold your attention like Laura does,” Laf gave her a look that Carmilla thought was supposed to be encouraging and continued. “You act so tough, but you get super soft around her. You’re just too wrapped up in your angsty persona to admit it.”

Carmilla growled, mostly because Laf wasn’t entirely wrong, and leveled a glare that they proceeded to ignore.

“And that’s not even taking into account the seduction eyes and anonymous emails.”

Carmilla froze. “How do you know about that?”

Laf finally seemed to recognise Carmilla’s threatening stance and backed down. “I saw a notification from Laura2theletter on your phone like a week after she explained her mysterious penpal to me, it wasn’t hard to figure out.”

She was fully panicking at this point. After what happened the other day she was afraid Laura might figure it out, but now it was almost certain that there was no hiding it anymore. And if that happened Laura would be so pissed that Carmilla would certainly lose any remaining connection she had to the girl. As much as she’d tried not to get Laura tied up in Carmilla’s damage, she had grown reliant on Laura as a coping mechanism for her messed up family life. It may not be healthy but Carmilla couldn’t risk that. As sad as it sounded, those emails and that annoyed look Laura always got when she saw Carmilla were what she looked forward to most in a day. She wanted so bad to threaten Laf into silence, but when she finally spoke her voice was soft and cracking slightly.

“Please don’t tell her.”

Laf’s eyes widened and they touched Carmilla’s arm in an awkward but comforting gesture. “I won’t, I promise. You should be more careful though if you don’t want her to figure it out herself.”

Their promise soothed Carmilla enough for her to focus back on the lab, and she let out a humourless laugh at the last part. “Yeah I’m well aware of that.”

Laf gave her another sympathetic look and let it go for now.

They were mostly silent for the rest of class. They finished the lab with about fifteen minutes left in that class period so Carmilla laid her head on the desk and let her mind wander until class was over. She had a free period next, and was greatly looking forward to the quiet of the library after this mess of a class.

She packed up her things quickly and waved to Laf before bolting out the door. Only to almost maul someone standing right by the door. And of course that someone had to be the last person Carmilla was ready to see.

“Hey! Watch where you’re—oh...Carmilla,” Laura looked just about to bite her head off before realizing who it was.

“You’re the one standing right in front of the door,” Carmilla tried for her usual teasing tone, but her darting eyes must have given away her nerves because Laura frowned and looked her over.

“Are you doing alright? You’re not as smug and annoying as usual,” Laura leaned in to look at her face, which didn’t help Carmilla calm down in the slightest.

“I’m a delight to be around,”Carmilla forced her usual superior tone and leaned forward a bit herself, “ask anyone.”

Laura scoffed, “there it is.”

Carmilla couldn’t help but grin, and was actually surprised to get a light blush in return. That was new. They’d flirted a little bit in the past two years, but Laura was usually adamant about her dislike of Carmilla. She could usually get a flustered or frustrated reaction, though it had been at least a year since she thought there might be actual affection behind Laura’s banter. She didn’t think they’d bonded enough last night for such a sudden change, but here Laura was, leaning towards her and chuckling softly at Carmilla’s bad joke.

However, before she could think too much of it Laf appeared behind her and nodded at Laura. “Sup Frosh, has Carm here been entertaining you for me.”

Carmilla and Laura both jumped slightly at their sudden arrival, and they sent Carmilla a knowing smirk.

“Carm?” Laura raised her eyebrows at Carmilla and giggled.

“Don’t look at me, I did not condone pet names.”

“We’re friends aren’t we? So why not?” Laf shrugged and nudged a grumbling Carmilla. 

“I didn’t realize you were so friendly,” Laura remarked with a curious expression.

Carmilla hadn’t really thought they were that close either, so it was a surprise to both her and Laura. She wasn’t gonna deny it though. If the science geek was willing to deal with Carmilla’s useless lesbian angst then the least she could do was put up with a nickname.

“Uh, yeah I guess we are,” Carmilla shrugged and leaned back against the lockers next to them.

Laura nodded and looked conflicted for a moment before shaking her head and turning to Carmilla. She accepted that a lot easier than Carmilla was expecting.

“I’m actually glad I ran into you Carmilla, I was thinking we should discuss meeting again, ya’know for the project,” Laura was fidgeting and looking between Carmilla and the floor, but Carmilla chose not to comment on her apparent nerves as she waited for Laura to finish speaking. “So —uh, can I give you my number?”

Carmilla’s eyes widened at that, but when she got her composure she nodded and pulled out her phone. Laf rolled their eyes at the exchange and started walking to their next class.

“I’ll meet you in math, ok Laura?”

“Wait! I’ll go with you,” Laura called over her shoulder.

Laf laughed and turned to walk backwarwards so they could address Laura, “then hurry up, or we’re gonna be late.”

Laura huffed and shoved Carmilla’s phone back at her. “Thanks, I guess. Just text me what time you’re free to do the project, okay?”

“Got it.”

Laura nodded and rocked back and forth for a minute, before seeming to remember that she had to go and turned to jog after Laf.

Carmilla watched her run off and bit her lip to keep the fond look off her face. When Laura was out of sight and the halls were mostly empty she started walking to the library. Today was not going how she wanted, but somehow she wasn’t mad about it.

-

When Carmilla got home she opened her phone immediately to send a text to Laura.

_ Hey Cupcake _

To Carmilla’s surprise Laura’s reply came less than a minute later.

_ Karnstein I assume? _

Carmilla had almost forgotten that this was just for a school project. Laura was obviously gonna be more professional than she was in her emails. Plus she actually likes the girl she’s emailing with. Carmilla not so much. It’s a weird and difficult pill to swallow, but Carmilla had accepted that a while ago. However now that they were communicating without Carmilla’s personna she could be as snarky as she wanted.

_ The one and only _

She could practically see Laura rolling her eyes as she watched the gray typing dots.

They actually ended up texting back and forth for almost an hour, and never ended up discussing the project. Really nothing that they talked about was very productive, but Carmilla was so happy. At this point she could care less about the consequences. About her mother or Laura’s friends or anything. As selfish as it was she wanted to keep this going for as long as she could. Screw the inevitable implosion. Laura might be worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it got a little cheesy there at the end, but I figure Carmilla is just a useless soft gay on the inside so it seemed kinda in character.
> 
> But I hope you enjoyed some good ol' Carmila and Laf friendship. Their dynamic is really fun to me so I put some extra bits of Laf being done with Laura and Carmilla being dumb, cause why not?
> 
> Also I don't know if I mentioned this already but I don't have a beta so all mistakes are mine.
> 
> :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura way overthinks everything when she invites Carmilla over to work on the project.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full gay panic in this chapter so enjoy!!

Carmilla was flirting with her. Right? That had to be what was happening. It wasn’t a new occurrence per se, but that didn’t mean Laura knew what to think about it. It was pretty common knowledge around school that Carmilla liked girls, though she hadn’t dated anyone in the time that Laura had known her. So it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that all the snarkiness and teasing was Carmilla’s way of showing affection. But that didn’t make it any easier to wrap her head around.

The way she saw it either her immoral jerk-face classmate had a crush on her and had only been tormenting her to get her attention. Or her immoral jerk-face classmate was pretending to like her to get even more of a rise out of her later. Though that second one seemed less likely the more she talked to Carmilla. She’d even emailed her penpal about it, though she’d left out the fact that the girl was the same one she complained about for the past few years. They hadn’t responded yet, so she kind of guessed they couldn’t really help her. She also could be reading the situation wrong and was freaking out for no reason. Carmilla had always been charming, and Laura had a rather overactive imagination, so it’s quite possible that nothing had changed.

Laura kind of hoped that wasn’t the case.

She didn’t like Carmilla, obviously. That would be ridiculous, absurd, totally...weird. Plus even if she did find Carmilla attractive there would be way too many complications for her to even consider it. For one Danny would be pissed. Danny absolutely hated Carmilla and was weirdly protective of Laura, even though she didn’t really have a reason to be. And speaking of protective, it was highly unlikely that Laura’s dad would like her dating someone who wears leather pants.

Long story short: Laura definitely should not see what would happen if she continued as she was with Carmilla. They’d finish Vordenberg’s stupid project and Laura would finally be able to stop thinking about this.

**_Carmilla_ **

_ Hey, cutie _

_ Do you want to actually find time to finish the english thing? _

Laura’s phone buzzed near her and okay maybe she was a bit quick to see what Carmilla said, but this was fine. It was like she said, they could finish the project and everything would be normal again.

**_Laura_ **

_ Sure _

**_Carmilla_ **

_ You free this weekend? _

**_Laura_ **

_ Yep. Wanna meet at my house? _

She didn’t even think before she hit send. This was dangerous territory considering how much Carmilla had been on her mind lately, but it was too late now. Carmilla agreed easily and they decided on a time without Carmilla saying anything like she usually would. After the first ‘cutie’ there were no teasing or pet names, which was a bit odd. Carmilla might have been a little more considerate lately, but she still had that snarky sense of humor. With this there wasn’t any taunting or flirting, just making plans. Laura almost missed it. But she shut that thought process down really quick.

She just had to get through this weekend, and then Carmilla could go back to the slightly annoying classmate. All of the redeeming and charming qualities would stop popping up.

-

Laura cleaned her room rather thoroughly before Carmilla arrived. Not just throwing her clothes in her laundry basket and dusting a few surfaces, but she took almost all of her stuffed animals and the large majority of her nerdy knick knacks in her closet. She was in the middle of debating whether or not Carmilla would make fun of her Tardis mug when the doorbell rang. It was seventeen minutes after Carmilla had agreed to meet her, so Laura guessed that her being on time for coffee was just a fluke.

She bolted down the stairs in order to beat her dad to the door. Her plan was to get Carmilla to her room before he got the chance to even see her, much less interrogate her about her plans with Laura. Not in like a ‘parents meet your girlfriend’ kind of way though, that’s just how he was with anyone Laura invited over.

Luckily he seemed to be far enough away that he couldn’t see the absolutely ridiculous face Laura made when she saw Carmilla.

Standing in front of her was one Carmilla Karnstein wearing a light blue button-up shirt tucked into black jeans. She had expected Carmilla to be in her usual ripped band t-shirt and leather pants, not  _ this _ . Even her make-up was more subtle, with far less eyeliner and more natural shades of eyeshadow and lipstick.

She was leaning against the doorframe with that same cocky attitude as always, but she started fidgeting the longer Laura stared at her.

“You gonna invite me in, or just keep gaping like a confused fish?”

Laura shook her head and finally moved so Carmilla could come in. “What with the outfit? You get tired of the black and tight leather?”

Carmilla raised an eyebrow at Laura’s wording but mercifully didn’t comment on it. “You’re dad’s like super overprotective right? I didn’t want to make a bad impression with him,” she said it so easily, like it was the most basic thing in the world, then winked and added “don’t want him thinking I’m not worthy of your company.”

Laura rolled her eyes and grabbed Carmilla’s arm, “let’s just go upstairs before he gets his hands on you.”

“Trying to hide your friend from me Laura?” Both Laura and Carmilla jumped when they heard her father’s voice from the doorway. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re embarrassed of me.”

“Oh— uh hello Mr Hollis, it’s nice to meet you,” Carmilla practically stuttered from beside Laura.

Laura couldn’t help but chuckle lightly at her fumbling. “Dad, this is Carmilla.”

Her dad put on his best scrutinizing gaze and looked Carmilla up and down. She straightened her posture, and looked uncharacteristically nervous. He took more time than was probably necessary staring her down, before his face broke into a smirk and he said, “call me Sherman.”

Carmilla visibly relaxed and nodded.

“Okay, thanks dad, but we should get to work so…”

He looked about to argue, but Laura sent him a look and he waved them off. Laura dragged Carmilla upstairs quickly before he could change his mind. She shoved Carmilla into her bedroom and quickly shut the door. When she turned around Carmilla was not so subtly inspecting her room, just as Laura had expected. Though to Laura’s surprise she didn’t comment on anything. She smiled at the wall of polaroid pictures and chuckled when she saw Laura’s Tardis mug, but that was it. She sat down on the bed like it was her own, grabbed Laura’s favorite yellow pillow and clutched it to her chest. 

“Alright, where do you want to begin?”

-

They were done a few hours later. They worked mostly in silence, like the last time, but something in the air felt different. Carmilla had moved to the floor, but she took the yellow pillow with her. And she kept looking at Laura, then shaking her head and looking back down. Laura didn’t think she had done the last time, but to be fair she hadn’t really been paying attention.

Laura herself was a bit distracted as well. Every time she looked up she was reminded that Carmilla was dressed up, to make a good impression for Laura, and would end up slightly flustered. At this point the project itself seemed rather trivial. All of this was just the dumb high school drama Laura had told herself when she was younger that she wouldn’t trouble herself with once she was a teenager. But here she was worrying over the hot girl just a few feet away from her. It was infuriating.

“Okay, that should be it,” Carmilla said suddenly, “I can print it out at school and give it to Vordenberg Monday morning if you’d like?”

“Huh? Oh sure,” Laura said, snapping out of her haze.

“See you later then?” Carmilla said as she packed up her stuff.

“Wait!”

Carmilla turned and looked at her quizzically.

“Um, dad always makes way too much dinner for the two of us, so you should stay?” She said it like a question because even Laura didn’t know what she was saying. It was true though, her dad didn’t trust anything, least of all restaurants he hadn’t thoroughly investigated, resulting in every meal he made leaving enough to have leftovers for like a week. Plus, Carmilla never really looked like she was getting enough to eat, so Laura was doing a good thing by inviting her. This was  _ not  _ because she wanted to stay with Carmilla for longer. At least not entirely.

“You’re asking me to stay for dinner?” Carmilla asked like she’d never heard anything like that before. Maybe she hadn’t. The thought just made Laura more determined to convince her to stay.

“Yeah.”

Carmilla’s eyebrows were knit together, but she somehow managed to look surprised. Enough time passed for Laura to start fidgeting before Carmilla shook her head and said, “fine, if your dad doesn’t mind.”

Laura’s face broke into a grin and she dropped her papers to the floor so she could grab Carmilla’s arm and drag her downstairs. Her dad was already in the kitchen, humming along to the sappy love songs that he always said he only bared with because Laura liked them.

“Thought you didn’t like this song dad?” Laura laughed as they entered the room.

He jumped when he heard her voice, splattering the counter with whatever was on his whisk. He turned down the volume of the music and turned to look at her. He looked over her shoulder at Carmilla, who still looked a little uneasy around him. Poor sweet child. Then he turned back to his daughter. “I’ve told you before, I only started listening to this kind of thing because of you and your mother,” Laura rolled her eyes, but she was staring a little too hard at the ground so he changed the subject. “Is your friend staying for dinner?”

Laura fought the instinct to point out that Carmilla and her weren’t really friends, instead responding with, “yeah, if that’s okay.”

“Of course,” he replied easily, “the more the merrier.”

“Thank you, sir,” Carmilla spoke softly from behind her. Laura noticed that there was one more button done up on her shirt than when they were upstairs.

Laura and her dad both laughed at the formality, and her dad waved her off, “I told you, you should call me Sherman. Sir makes me feel like an old man.”

Laura chuckled and hopped up on the counter beside him, sneaking a carrot from the cutting board while he wasn’t looking. Carmilla awkwardly followed her, and gave her a look when she stole more vegetables, to which Laura responded with a wink. Laura burst out laughing at the dumb face Carmilla made. She had raised one condescending eyebrow at Laura, but the faint pink on her cheeks gave it a lot less effect than she was going for. Carmilla was so out of her element here, and her basic nature seemed to be conflicting with how hard she was trying to be good.

Laura could see her dad watching them out of the corner of his eye, while he pretended to be busy stirring something. He was smiling to himself, and Laura tried not to think about why.

They hung out there for about fifteen minutes before her dad was done. Carmilla seemed more comfortable at this point, but she still didn’t know how to act with Sherman. She sat down at the table with one leg bent up on her chair, but immediately put in on the ground and straightened her back when Laura’s dad entered the room. After seeing how little respect Carmilla seemed to have for most people it was quite amusing for Laura to see her distressed over interacting with her father.

“This is delicious, thank you,” Carmilla said politely after a few moments of silence.

“Oh you’re too kind,” he replied, beaming at the praise. Laura thought that might be the first time she’d heard Carmilla compliment something in a non-teasing way.

“Wow, the infamous Carmilla said something nice!” Laura teased with a hand over her chest.

“I’ll have you know I can be very pleasant when I want to, just ask Laf,” Carmilla bit back, more like her usual self than she’d been all night.

“They said you threatened them with a really sharp pencil just last week.”

“It was super dull, and wouldn’t actually do it,” Carmilla argued, her smirk coming back with the banter.

“You know Laura once hit someone with a plastic shovel,” her dad cut in suddenly. “She was in kindergarten standing up against a bully at least two years older than her.”

Laura half expected Carmilla to close up again with her dad engaged in the conversation, but she turned to him with a dangerous spark in her eye. Oh no.

“Oh really?”

“Oh yeah, just a few months before she started an uprising against the principle.”

Carmilla laughed heartily and asked him to continue, which he did gladly. Laura did everything in her power to get him to  _ stop talking,  _ but Carmilla slid her chair right next to hers and physically restrained her while her dad spouted embarrassing stories.

“I actually think I have an album of baby photos somewhere—”

Laura’s eyes went wide and she bit the hand covering her mouth, finally breaking free of Carmilla’s grasp.

“Alright that’s enough, dad, I think Carmilla’s heard enough.”

“Oh I’m—”

Laura cut Carmilla off with a look and pulled her to her feet. “She should probably be going soon, so..”

Carmilla huffed, but didn’t argue. She said her goodbyes to Laura’s dad (they seemed to have bonded over Laura’s childhood stories which was actually mortifying, but at least Carmilla wasn’t as off as before) and Laura finally got her to walk away.

“Alright, Mattie should be here to pick me up soon,” Carmilla said, checking her phone while they made their way to the door.

“You better not tell anyone about the ladybug debacle,” Laura threatened when they got to the doorway.

Carmilla did a mocking lips sealed motion in response.

“I’m serious.”

“Look, I may not be able to relate to embarrassing childhood stories, but you can trust me,” Carmilla sighed. Laura frowned, but before she could comment Carmilla continued. “Thanks for tonight, cupcake.”

“Of course. I mean we had to do the english thing, and dinner was just a last minute kinda idea so it wasn’t like a big deal or important or whatever. I wasn’t expecting dad to talk your ear off like that, so sorry if—”

Laura’s rant was mercifully cut off by the sound of a car horn in front of the house.

“That’s her.”

If Laura didn’t know any better she’d say Carmilla sounded disappointed.

“Right.”

Neither of them moved.

Laura could hear her dad cleaning up in the kitchen and Mattie was parked far enough away that she couldn’t see them. Laura looked down at Carmilla’s lips, only for a second, and immediately panicked. She shuffled her feet back and forth and refused to meet Carmilla’s gaze. When she finally did, Carmilla's eyes were trained an inch or so below Laura’s, which did the exact opposite of calm her down. Then Carmilla looked up and smiled.

When Carmilla started to lean in Laura’s brain short circuited. She didn’t move away or do anything more than let her heart beat in overdrive. And then...Carmilla kissed her cheek.

She pulled back with that infuriating smirk and said “see you later, cutie.”

Laura watched her get into a fancy black car she assumed belonged to Mattie, and then watched said car drive away.

When she finally pulled herself away from the door she went to help her dad in the kitchen. She silently dried and put away the dishes like she did every night. He smiled in thanks and they continued until the last dish. She could feel him watching her while she stood on her toes to put it in one of the top cabinets.

“She’s sweet,” he started when she turned back towards him. “Why haven’t you talked about her before?”

That was a complicated question to answer. Laura bit her lip as she thought through her answer. “We’re not really friends.” Her dad just raised an eyebrow at her until she sighed and continued. “I mean the only time we really interact is when she picks on me in class, but we got this stupid assignment together, and the rest is history.”

“You guys seemed pretty close, though.”

“Well she’s friends with Laf, so I’ve gotta stay at least civil. Plus she was super weird around you, she’s not usually like that. She hates me.” Even as she was saying them Laura’s words sounded wrong. She’d spouted similar explanations to Danny and her friends before, but now, actually knowing Carmilla, she couldn’t really mean any of the things she was saying. And her dad could see right through it.

He was looking at her with a look that bordered on patronizing, like she was missing something right in front of them. “Oh sweetie that girl most certainly does not hate you.”

“What?”

“Let’s just say that not everyone tries that hard when meeting the parents of someone they're ‘just working on a project with’.” Laura let the words sink in as her father put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “For what it’s worth, I really liked her.”

He then stepped away and started to walk away, only to be stopped by Laura’s hand fisted in the back of his shirt. “What do you mean?”

He looked like he was gonna give another vague answer, or tell her it wasn’t his place, but when he turned and saw the vulnerable look in her eyes he said honestly, “that girl’s in love with you, Laura.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I'm not sure if I like this chapter or not, it felt a little show not tell-ish to me but I didn't wanna rewrite it cause I'm excited to get the next chapter out. Anyway tell me what y'all think?? Maybe it's ok.
> 
> Also I have this headcanon (is it really a headcanon cause it was kinda in the series?) That Carm gets really nervous with Laura's dad and the more I thought about it the more adorable it seemed, so that's what this chapter was :P
> 
> And sorry my notes area little weird I'm an odd mood.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla tries to figure out what the hell is even happening anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this took longer than I wanted it to because I kept wanting to make it perfect and it just wasn't, but here you go. It should be a good one so hopefully y'all will enjoy it!

“Why are you so dressed up?”

Carmilla grunted in response and stared pointedly out the window. Mattie looked between her and the road and was grinning like a madman.

“Oh my god, you went and fell for some girl again didn’t you?” Mattie seemed way too excited about this.

“No.”

Mattie didn’t seem to believe a word she was saying.

“Oh kitty-cat,” Carmilla growled at the nickname, but Mattie ignored her, “I hope you know what you’re doing, you remember what happened last time.”

“That’s why I’m telling you it’s nothing like that.” She held Mattie’s gaze with as much conviction as she had in her until the light turned green. Mattie turned back to the road and to Carmilla’s surprise she let it go.

Carmilla unbuttoned the top button of her shirt and pressed the side of her face to the glass of the car window. Honestly she didn’t know what she was doing. She’d been so good about keeping Laura at arm's length the past year, why she’d thrown that all away now she didn’t know. Well that wasn’t entirely true. She was a gay disaster and she was almost certainly in love with the girl, that’s why. What she didn’t know was how to stop now that Laura was starting to get attached. Maybe attached wasn’t the right word. Interested maybe? Carmilla could have sworn Laura almost kissed her tonight. Carmilla’s mind was a mess. The thought that Laura could like her back had barely even been a possibility in her mind before, but now that everything Carmilla built up was crumbling she let herself entertain the possibility.

She pulled out her phone and texted Laura before she could overthink it. _Thanks for tonight, cupcake_

Her phone buzzed a few seconds later, but it wasn’t Laura’s response. Well it was Laura, but on her email. Carmilla panicked for a moment that she sent it on the wrong platform, but luckily that wasn’t the case.

**_Laura2theletter_ **

_ Okay so, hypothetically, if I thought a girl liked me what should I do about it? _

Fuck. Carmilla didn’t think she’d been that transparent, but in retrospect the kiss on the cheek near the end was probably a little obvious. The smart thing to do at this point would be to throw Laura off or tell her not to do anything about it. Yeah, that would probably be the smartest course of action.

**_kreatureofthenite_ **

_ Well do you like her? _

Nope that was the opposite of helping the situation.

**_Laura2theletter_ **

_ No. _

_ Well not really... _

_ I don’t know. _

Hmm. That answer left Carmilla with more hope than she knew what to do with. She could tease and pester and flirt as much as she wanted and still stay in control, but something had shifted with Laura in recent weeks, and before Carmilla knew it she’d lost all control of the situation. Laura was supposed to be a guilty habit, not a real possibility.

**_Laura2theletter_ **

_ I might. _

But now...

**_kreatureofthenite_ **

_ Then tell her that. _

-

Carmilla read over those emails seven times the next morning before she left for school. Mattie was looking at her curiously all morning, so Carmilla knew she’d have to get her nerves under control before they arrived. There was no guarantee that she’d even see Laura today, but she still scanned the morning crowd for honey brown hair. No sign of her. To be fair Laura’s pretty damn short, so she could just be hidden in the halls somewhere.

“Looking for your new girlfriend?” Mattie chuckled from beside her.

“I told you to drop it,” Carmilla turned to glare at her, but Mattie didn’t have any of that scheming amusement in her eyes that she did last night. No she looked more like the dotting older sister that Carmilla sometimes forgot she was.

“Oh you little sap, you’ve fallen hard, haven’t you?” Mattie put an arm around her shoulder. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell mother.”

Carmilla looked up at her in surprise.

Mattie shrugged and smiled down at her. Carmilla nodded and smiled slightly in return.

They separated as they passed the library where Carmilla had to print her and Laura’s project to give to Vordenberg. The room was empty and since she was there about twenty minutes before classes started, Carmilla would most likely waste that time in the back corner of the library that she had practically claimed as her own.

The last page was coming out of the printer when someone else came in. She paid them no mind as she fingered through the pages to make sure everything was there, but she could hear that they walked up to her and seemed to be fidgeting in place a few feet behind her. She stepped aside so they could get to the printer, but they didn’t move. When she finally turned around she felt like an idiot.

Laura was kind of bouncing in front of her with her hands clasped together. Carmilla quickly wiped the surprised look from her face and tried for her usual casual smirk.

“Hey, Creampuff, you need something?”

“Oh, I, uh, got here early and you said you’d be doing this so I came to see if you needed any help, but it seems like you’ve got it covered so uh— I don't know.”

Carmilla couldn’t help but smile at her nervous rambling. Then an idea came to her, a rather terrible idea, but it was early enough that she didn’t care. She leaned in near Laura’s face and put her hand to her cheek and then her forehead. “You okay, cutie? You’re even more awkward than normal.”

Laura was blushing and sputtering until she finally muttered, “I had coffee so I’m probably wired from that. I’m not sick.”

Carmilla hummed and pulled her hand back slower than was probably necessary. “Yeah you don’t have a fever, plus no sick person could look that good.”

Laura’s jaw dropped and her face turned an even darker shade of red. Carmilla lasted only a few seconds with a serious expression before she broke into another grin. Laura huffed and smacked her arm. “You’re terrible.”

Carmilla shrugged and leaned back on the table beside them. “Well if you’re that desperate to hang out with me, we can deliver this to Vordi together.”

“I am not 'desperate to hang out with you’,” Laura huffed indignantly, but she followed Carmilla out of the room nonetheless.

They chatted about nothing as they made their way through the halls, and Carmilla noticed they were closer than she could remember Laura ever being before. In the past Laura would always keep her distance, even when they were working together, always on the other side of the table. The distance only ever bridged by Carmilla. But now their hands brushed as they walked, and Carmilla didn’t know if it was conscious or not, but she appreciated the change.

They’d almost made it to Vordenberg’s classroom when a familiar grating voice called out to them.

“Laura! Hey, wait up!” To Carmilla’s dismay Laura turned at the sound of Danny’s voice, and she stopped to wait for the ridiculously tall girl to catch up. Laura cocked her head and smiled at her in greeting, while Carmilla rolled her eyes and stuffed her hands in her pockets. Danny was beaming until she finally noticed Carmilla and her expression soured. They locked eyes for a moment before Danny turned back to Laura. “What’re you doing here so early? You usually run into class thirty seconds before the bell rings.”

Laura rubbed the back of her neck and then gestured to Carmilla, or more to the papers under Carmilla’s arm. “We needed to turn this project in to Vordenberg so…”

Danny nodded and she was still pointedly ignoring Carmilla. “Well once you’re done do you wanna hang out for a bit before class starts?”

Danny looked like an excited puppy, but Laura was looking back and forth between the two of them like there was a choice to be made. Finally she looked guiltily at Carmilla.

“Well, Carmilla...” It was too early for Carmilla to want to hear this. This whole ordeal was just a reminder that whatever this weird thing with Laura has been, it would be over as soon as she handed these papers in. Even if part of Laura did like her, it wouldn’t mean anything in the end while people like Lawrence were around. She didn’t need laura’s pity. 

“You know what Creampuff, don’t do me any favors,” Carmilla grumbled and took a step back, “I’ll give this to him myself and you can run off with your little girlfriend.”

She then turned and stalked away. She could hear Laura call for her through the ringing in her ears, but didn’t slow down.

-

Carmilla decided to skip first period because she never really learned anything in that class anyway, and she tucked herself in the deepest corner of the library she could find, with a philosophy book complex enough to keep her mind occupied. She didn’t really know why seeing Danny earlier had bothered her so much, but dwelling on that was a lot harder than sulking, so she put all her energy into leaving annotations in the margins of her book.

It wasn’t long before someone found her.

She could hear Laura fumbling around the library from the time she came in and asked some poor underclassman if they’d seen Carmilla, to her sticking her head around the corner and grinning like an idiot. Carmilla pretended not to notice as Laura bound up to her, but there was an unmistakable smirk on her face from the moment she heard Laura’s voice.

“Found you.”

“Well done, you’ve accomplished your goal. Now you can leave me in peace.”

She could tell Laura was pouting without needing to look up. “How can you always act like that? So dismissive and rude.”

“Years of practice.”

Carmilla meant it as a joke, but Laura frowned and sat down right next to her. “Why’d you run off earlier?”

“Me and Lawrence don’t really get along, you know that.”

“Yeah, and I was gonna tell her I wanted to spend that time with you, but you ran off before I could say anything.”

Carmilla finally looked up. “Why would you do that?”

Laura bit her lip as she chose her words. “Because you’re not as bad as I thought.”

Carmilla fought the urge to say something snarky in response, but did wipe the stupidly fond look off her face. She shrugged and turned back to her book. Laura scoffed and grabbed the book out of Carmilla’s hands.

“Hey!”

“You can’t just ignore me after I say something like that,” Laura said, holding the book out of Carmilla’s reach. “You’re not getting this back until you talk to me.”

Carmilla frowned and reached over Laura for the book. Laura squealed and pulled it back even farther, leaning so far that her chair almost toppled over. Carmilla kept her face expressionless as Laura squirmed away from her, decidedly ignoring how close they were. Laura then turned the book in her hand to read from the page Carmilla was on.

“‘Those who prefer their principles over their happiness, they refuse to be happy outside of the conditions they seem to have attached to their happiness,’” she read in her best philosopher voice. “Sounds light and frothy.”

Carmilla grunted in a response and finally wrestled the book out of Laura’s grasp. She was practically in Laura’s lap after the struggle, and while her curiosity made her want to stay there or pull away as slow as possible, the rational part of her brain had her scrambling away quickly and slouching back in her own chair. Laura didn’t even try to hide her deep blush, still staring Carmilla down and willing her to give in.

“You’re like Gollum with the ring,” Laura joked, but Carmilla didn’t react. She stuffed the book into her bag for its protection and then finally turned to Laura.

“So you’re here because you like me?”

Laura instantly started stuttering and waving her hands about, seemingly only now aware of the red on her cheeks. “No it’s not like that, like you’re fine and hanging out with you has been okay, but it’s not that...that is not a thing.”

Carmilla raised an eyebrow and leaned back, admiring the awkward mess before her. Laura’s nervous energy eventually faded and soon she was pouting at Carmilla again.

“You did that on purpose.”

“Maybe.”

“You’re the worst.”

“So you’ve said.”

And suddenly Laura had that inquiring look again, like she’d just realized something about Carmilla and everything she said had new meaning, almost like pity. Carmilla didn’t like it. Her interactions with Laura were supposed to be a simple back and forth that only existed between the two of them. Where everything wasn’t perfect, but at least she knew where they stood. Now that Carmilla’s teasing felt friendly and Laura wasn’t oblivious to her flirting, she was out of her depth.

“Danny and I aren’t dating you know,” Laura said suddenly.

It took conscious effort for Carmilla to keep up her nonchalant demeanor and say: “Good. You can do better.”

“Like you?”

Yeah Carmilla had no idea what was happening anymore.

“I’m hardly better than Lawrence.” It almost physically hurt to say something remotely nice about Danny, but Carmilla was willing to admit that Laura deserved someone less complicated. Though as usual Laura managed to miss that tone completely and surprise Carmilla even more than she had already.

“I don’t know about that, you can be pretty charming when you want to be.” Even Laura seemed surprised when the words left her mouth, but she didn’t take them back, instead she smiled softly and changed the subject, “so you’ve got first period off too?”

Carmilla shrugged and shook her head no. Laura actually gasped, as if skipping class was a federal crime. Carmilla grimaced as Laura stood up quickly and dragged Carmilla out of her chair. “Carmilla you can’t just ditch class, you could get in trouble! Come on.”

“It’s really not a big deal, cupcake, it’s not like I learn much in that class anyway.”

“It’s still disrespectful to the teacher.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes despite the fact that Laura was facing away from her. Laura now marched her out of the library by her arm, while Carmilla hurriedly closed her bag before all her things could fall out. Other than asking what class Carmilla was in Laura didn’t speak to her the rest of the way. Carmilla worried slightly that she’d actually upset Laura and considered apologizing, but they made it to her classroom before she could.

Luckily Laura opened the door quietly, so she didn’t make a scene. The students were working on some reading and didn’t even bother to look up as Laura pulled Carmilla up to the teacher’s desk.

“So sorry miss, but Carmilla and I had to get a project to Mr Vordenberg and it took longer to print and deliver than we were expecting,” Laura’s voice took on a completely different tone when she talked to adults, a trait that Carmilla would have made fun of in any other situation. But Laura was covering for her, so she went with it.

“You really didn’t have to come here Laura, I could’ve explained myself.”

Laura smiled at the use of her actual name and quipped, “with an attitude like yours I doubt she would believe you.”

“Thought you said I was charming?” Carmilla’s fake pout only lasted about thirty seconds before she shrugged and looked away. “Whatever, thanks I guess.”

The teacher looked between them curiously, as if she couldn’t wrap her head around a girl as sweet and innocent as Laura seeming so close to the girl that sat silently in the back of class glaring at anyone that tried to talk to her. Or why said girl seemed to melt with a single word from Laura. “Alright grab the packet from over there and start working, if you need more time you can take it home.”

Carmilla did as she was told and Laura thanked the teacher. They shared a look as Laura left the classroom, and Carmilla couldn’t stop thinking about it for the rest of class.

-

Carmilla was a little distracted for the rest of the day.

After an hour or two of trying to figure out where she stood with Laura she gave up and decided to just count herself lucky that Laura was still talking to her. At this point she’d fully abandoned her previous attempts to keep Laura at a distance. She figured she deserved to see if something good could come out of this.

She left her last class of the day content, and far more confident than she’d felt in weeks. She was considering going over to Laura’s class to waste some time before Mattie was ready to leave, but before she made it there someone stepped in front of her.

“Hey Carmilla.”

It was some girl she recognized from some of her classes, though they’d never really interacted before now. Her name was Elsie, if Carmilla remembered correctly. “Uh, hi?”

Elsie started talking to her about something, but Carmilla spotted Laura coming out of her class and admittedly got a little distracted.

Carmilla didn’t really know or care what Elsie had to say, but she wasn’t rude enough to blow her off. That didn’t mean she had to pay too close attention. She could see Laura talking to Laf across the hall and alternated between looking at her and pretending to listen to Elsie. It wasn’t a perfect system though, because she was too busy trying to figure out what Laf had said to make Laura laugh like that to notice that Elsie had asked her a question.

“Huh? Sorry what was that?”

Elsie laughed and waved her hand, “I was just wondering what your plans are tonight?”

“Uh, I don’t know, nothing?”

Elsie then leaned in and touched Carmilla’s arm in a way that was far too friendly for her liking. But when she looked back over at Laura she saw her eyes locked right on the place Elsie was touching her. Interesting.

Carmilla fought the urge to pull her arm away from Elsie’s grasp and smirked in a way that she hoped looked flirtatious.

“Why don’t we do something together then?” Elsie purred.

Laura looked like she was trying to burn holes in Elsie with her eyes alone. She then flicked her eyes to meet Carmilla’s for a moment. Carmilla chuckled and leaned in right by Elsie’s ear. She shivered and Laura had her jaw clenched so tight Carmilla was afraid it might crack.

“Sorry, but that’s never gonna happen.”

Elsie looked shocked when Carmilla pulled away and it was the perfect expression to make Laura lose her composure completely. She said something to Laf quickly and stomped over to Carmilla with a murderous glare. 

“Can I borrow her for a minute?” She practically snarled at Elsie with her lips drawn in a thin line. She then seized Carmilla’s wrist in a vice grip and dragged her away.

“Whatcha doing, cutie?” Carmilla laughed as Laura pulled her down the hall.

Laura didn’t answer, just shoved Carmilla into a storage closet.

“What the hell was that?” Laura demanded.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“You’re the one that—with the, the flirting and cute pouting and ugh! Then you turn around and do  _ that  _ like I— and here you are standing there with that infuriating smirk like you did nothing wrong!”

Laura was flailing her arms and ranting and if it weren’t so cute Carmilla would be scared that she’d really messed up.

“Cupcake—”

“No!” Carmilla startled slightly at the interruption, “don’t call me that. Don’t…”

“Laura,” she stopped at Carmilla’s soft tone and looked up at her. Her eyes were glazed over, like another minute of this and she might cry, so Carmilla grabbed her by the shoulders and lowered her voice even more. “Hey, hey I’m sorry. That was dumb, I barely even know that girl, okay? She just started talking to me and you got so jealous I couldn’t help but play it up a bit.”

Laura tensed and shoved Carmilla away. “I was not jealous.”

“Then what the hell was all that?”

“I—it… nothing. I am not jealous. You,” she punctuated each word with a poke to Carmilla’s chest, “are smug, superior, condescending, narcissistic…”

She didn’t really seem to have a point, just backed Carmilla up with every word until she had her back against the wall and Laura right up in her face. She looked down and Carmilla’s lips for a second before she seemed to regain her train of thought.

“So there is no way I could possibly be jealous of you and some girl.”

“So that’s why you dragged me in here and pinned me to a wall,” Carmilla smirked. She still had an inch or two on Laura, so she did her best to look down on her exactly how Laura had described. The result was more of a mix of smug and fond, but it was close enough. Laura blushed, but still had that fury in her eyes and her arms boxing Carmilla in.

“Oh will you just shut up already.”

And Laura kissed her. 

Carmilla was pretty confident in saying that this was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Now the only other person Carmilla had kissed was Ell, but that couldn’t even compare to this.

The kiss was messy and it was clear that Laura was still mad, but  _ Laura was kissing her,  _ so Carmilla didn’t particularly care. She pulled Laura closer by the hips while the shorter girl attacked her lips with her eyes tightly shut. Laura’s hands were now in her hair and she showed no signs of slowing down.

All in all not the best way to convince Carmilla she wasn’t jealous.

When Carmilla had imagined this —in the few moments she allowed herself to hope her crush wasn’t as one-sided as it appeared— she thought that it would be softer, more excited or loving, and certainly not in their school storage closet. She wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth, but she did try to slow the kiss little by little, rubbing soft circles into Laura’s lower back and drawing her head back. She pecked Laura’s lips three more times before pulling back fully.

Carmilla couldn’t help the soft smile that grew on her face once they pulled apart, or the hands still on Laura’s hips, rubbing circles in the fabric of her shirt with her thumbs. But Laura’s eyes were still closed. She was breathing heavily and her brow was furrowed. The smile was wiped instantly off her face and she nudged Laura after a moment.

“Laura? You okay?”

Laura finally opened her eyes, but she wouldn’t look at Carmilla. She was biting her lip and her eyelashes were wet, but there were no tears on her face. She slid her hands out of Carmilla’s hair and took a deep breath. When she took a step back Carmilla tried to reach for her, but she was already moving even farther away.

“I’m sorry, I— I gotta go,” she then bolted out of the room, leaving Carmilla with her hair ruffled and mind whirring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was that ok? It's a pretty important chapter and part of me is afraid he pacing and stuff was off so any feedback you have would be wonderful.
> 
> Hope you guys are doing ok and are still enjoying this fic :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura's (very gay) panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry it's been a while, after school started I didn't have much time to work on this. I really didn't want to keep you waiting much longer after last chapter though and I wasn't able to do much proofreading, so if you catch any mistakes let me know. Good news is I should have more time now so updates should be a bit quicker.
> 
> Enjoy!

“That girl’s in love with you, Laura.”

Those words were playing on repeat in Laura’s head all day. When she came to see Carmilla before school, when Carmilla practically ran away from her and Danny, when they were flirting in the library, but when she saw Carmilla and Elsie her mind went blank. At first she was furious. Then confused. Then possessive, then upset, and then right back to furious. And when she kissed her she felt just about any emotion you could think of all at once.

She’s told herself countless times that she doesn’t like Carmilla. That she wasn’t looking at her lips because she wanted to kiss them. Even that she hated her, but the more she thought about it the more Laura just wanted to be near Carmilla. And as scary as that thought was, she was tired of pretending otherwise.

But she had still run away.

She got a funny look from Laf and she ran through the halls, and she thought a teacher might’ve yelled at her, but none of that mattered. Because she had  _ kissed Carmilla. _

If someone had told Laura a few months ago she would be falling for the pretentious girl in leather pants that bothered her in english, she wouldn’t have believed them. But here she was, hiding behind a shed by the sports fields, trying to get her heart rate under control.

She really shouldn’t have run. Sure she was pissed, and confused but Carmilla was there, saying all the right things in the softest most comforting voice Laura had ever heard. If anyone could make Laura feel okay right now it would be Carmilla. But all chances of that had gone the moment she left her there. So Laura would have to figure this out herself.

She took a deep breath and started counting to ten. Then down to one, then back up to ten again. It wasn’t the best strategy she had to calm down, but it was the only one she could think of. And it worked well enough.

She had almost regained her composure completely when she heard footsteps coming towards her.

She ran a hand through her hair and patted her cheeks to check for tears before someone rounded the corner. Or rather multiple someones. Danny and Mel were chatting about some school assignment, heading over to the soccer field in full Silas High uniforms with the rest of their team in tow.

They didn’t notice her at first, and for a moment she thought she could get away with standing very still and waiting for them to pass, but of course Danny had to look over and make eye contact. “Hey Laura! I thought you said you couldn’t make it to the game today?”

“Oh, uh, no I’m just...waiting for my dad to pick me up! Yeah, he’s on his way.” It wasn’t a very good lie, and she was sure she still looked as frazzled as she felt, but Danny seemed to buy it.

“Alright, you can catch the next one?”

“Sure.”

Danny looked like a satisfied puppy as she walked away. She looked like Carmilla when Sherman told her she was welcome back anytime. Oh shit, Carmilla. Laura groaned and buried her face in her hands.

“Uh, you good?”

Laura jumped and saw that Mell had stopped and was giving her a weird expression. “Yeah. I’m fine, just, uh, great actually.”

It clearly wasn’t very convincing.

“This about Lawrence?”

Huh?

“Danny? What about her?”

“You mean you really can’t tell?” Mel seemed genuinely surprised. “Dude, she’s been crushing on you for like two years.”

Shit. This was really not what Laura needed right now. Danny had always been a little too nice and a little too protective with Laura, and she’d gotten a lot of similar comments from Laf and Perry in the past, but honestly this past year Laura hadn’t really thought much about Danny. She’d had a crush on her in freshman year, but decided pretty quick that they were better as friends. However if it had gotten big enough on Danny’s side that Mel was getting involved she really couldn’t ignore it much longer.

“You don’t like her back, do you?”

Laura tried to breathe for a moment before shaking her head. “Not like that.”

“Then please let her know, and try not to break her heart.”

That was weird to hear coming from someone like Mel. “Since when do you care so much about Danny?”

Ok that came out a lot harsher than Laura intended, but she was still reeling from the events of the day so her filter was all out of sorts.

“I don’t, but if she gets all mopey she’ll play badly.”

Ah, that made more sense.

“Wait, if that’s not it then why are you hiding over here groaning for no reason?” Mel asked.

“Don’t you have a game to get to?”

Mel gave her another curious look before she shrugged and walked away. Laura let out a long breath when Mel was far enough away. This was all too much. She couldn’t even begin to think about Danny right now. It was like there was a block in her brain and all she could think about was Carmilla. It’d been like this for a while actually. It was exhilarating and exhausting at the same time.

She counted her breaths for a moment before pulling out her phone. There were a ton of missed calls and text notifications from Carmilla and even a few confused texts from Laf. She ignored them all and instead opened up her email.

**_Laura2theletter_ **

_ You know that girl I was telling you about? _

**_kreatureofthenite_ **

_ Yeah? _

The reply was immediate.

**_Laura2theletter_ **

_ I kinda kissed her _

**_kreatureofthenite_ **

_ Kinda? _

**_Laura2theletter_ **

_ Definitely. I definitely kissed her...and then ran away. _

**_kreatureofthenite_ **

_ That bad huh? _

**_Laura2theletter_ **

_ What?  _

_ No. I just freaked out. I thought I hated her until only a few weeks ago so when she was all sweet and gentle I didn’t know how to handle it. _

_ Sorry tmi. _

**_kreatureofthenite_ **

_ So you didn’t leave because she did anything wrong? _

**_Letter2theletter_ **

_ Well she was pretty infuriating but not in a bad way. _

**_kreatureofthenite_ **

_ Infuriating in a good way? _

**_Laura2theletter_ **

_ Oh shut up, you know what I mean. _

When Laura put her phone away she was feeling much better. Still not good enough to read Carmilla’s texts or completely untangle the knot in her chest, but better.  **_kreatureofthenite_ ** tended to have that effect on her. Laura felt kind of dumb not even knowing her name, and barely remembering her face, but she honestly couldn’t have survived these past few years without them.

Though it did feel a little weird talking to her about girls. Actually near the end of middle school Laura thought she might have a crush on the mysterious girl she exchanged emails with. There was something so charming about falling for someone that she’d shared so much with. And from what Laura could remember of that day the girl was cute. Her features were fuzzy in Laura’s memory, but she had deep brown eyes and black hair. Laura really did have a type.

But in high school she met girls like Danny and Carmilla, and then got distracted with school work. Soon she was back to feeling like it was just an anonymous person she could let all her problems out on. She felt a little bad actually. She didn’t know very much about the girl, they mostly talked about Laura. Laura knew she liked cats but hated mornings and gingerbread (seriously who hates gingerbread?!). She knew she wanted to go to college for philosophy, that she had a pretentious older sister that she actually really loved, and for at least the past year she’d been in love with someone who didn’t like her back.

Considering they’d been emailing almost every day for five years it wasn’t a lot. But any time Laura thought she might be getting the girl to open up she would change the subject. And no matter how many times Laura asked, she could never get a name or any inkling that the girl wanted to meet in person.

Laura had grown to be fine with that, but right now having someone actually there to give her a hug and tell her it’s not the end of the world would be pretty nice.

-

It took Laura hours to look at any of the other messages she’d received. She ran right past her dad when she got home and buried her face in her pillow. She didn’t cry or anything, but did yell into the yellow pillow Carmilla had liked so much.

The first texts she looked at were from Laf. It didn’t seem like Carmilla had told them anything, but they were worried.

**_Laf_ **

_ You good,frosh? _

_ What happened with Karnstein? _

_ Laura where did you go? I’m starting to get kinda worried. _

_ Don’t make tell on you to Perry _

Luckily it didn’t seem like they’d actually gone to Perry, or else Laura would have a dozen anxious voicemails and an email to her father. She quickly told Laf that she was fine and would explain everything tomorrow. She wasn’t actually sure she’d be able to do that, but at least it’d keep them from worrying.

The real problem was Carmilla. She’d called at least eight times since Laura ran off and sent twice as many texts. The first few were in the same vein of concern and apologetic and Laura felt so bad. She didn’t even give an explanation before bolting. And Laura was the one that kissed her, if anyone should be surprised or upset it should be Carmilla.

Laura really needed to apologize, and not just over text or phone call. Tomorrow was going to be an extremely long day.

-

Laura got halfway through the day without seeing Carmilla. It wasn’t on purpose, she actually kind of wanted to see her, to apologize or something. She was, however, avoiding Laf and anyone else that might question the events of the other day. She hid out in the library at lunch, partially to get some time to think but also in part because she thought Carmilla might be there.

She wasn’t.

So Laura would have to find time in english to talk to her. That’d be fine. She’d think of something. It’d all work out. But when Laura got to the door she kind of freaked out. She considered running away again, but at that moment a whole horde of students entered the room, ushering her in with them. Carmilla didn’t seem to be among them, but Carmilla never got to class before she absolutely had to.

And like Laura had thought, Carmilla came in the minute class was supposed to start.

Honestly Carmilla looked like a bit of a wreck. Well no, that girl could wear a garbage bag and still be the hottest person in the room, but she wasn’t quite herself. Her hair was messy and she kept running her hands through it every few seconds. Her makeup was the same as usual, but it didn’t look like she’d gotten much sleep and was nursing an extra large cup of coffee. Not to mention her usual disaffected demeanor was practically nonexistent as she glared at anyone near her.

When she saw Laura her thoughts were plastered right on her face. She went from almost growling at the poor kid in front of her to meeting Laura’s eyes and immediately perking up. She looked surprised and excited before seeming to remember the other day and shutting down. She must not have expected Laura to come to school today. In all honesty Laura wasn’t going to, but she had like two tests and was starting a new unit in english. Plus staying home with her father all day and he’d surely be able to pry the events of yesterday out of her.

Laura was still thinking of something to say when Carmilla brushed past her. Which was… fair, but still kinda rude. She turned around, but was still at a loss for what to say and ended up just kind of looking at Carmilla with her mouth hanging open. Carmilla was pulling things out of her bag that Laura was pretty sure weren’t for this class and not looking up.

“Um, I’m—”

“Alright everyone, take your seats and turn to page 152 of your textbooks.”

At Vordenberg’s voice there was a collective sigh around the room as students got settled. Laura turned her head from the teacher to Carmilla for a second before sighing and sitting down.

She couldn’t focus. She kept turning to look behind her, but of course Carmilla actually starts paying attention in class when Laura wants her attention on her. About halfway into class Laura realized she had no idea what Vordenberg was talking about, just in time for him to make eye contact with her and misunderstand her panic for interest.

“Miss Hollis, do you have an answer for part C?”

“Huh? Part—oh uh no sorry, I’m not sure.”

Luckily he left it at that and moved on to someone who actually had their hand up, while Laura groaned and dropped her head onto the table. She was about ready to give up on this day when she felt her chair move. She raised her head and looked around, not finding anything. She shook her head and looked at the board and it happened again. Then again. Finally she looked back to see Carmilla leaning over her desk and realized she must be kicking at Laura’s chair legs.

“You good, Cupcake?” Laura was going to point out that clearly she was not, but Carmilla spoke again. “Don’t worry about it okay? We’re good, I promise.”

She paired it with the softest smile Laura had ever seen and Laura just about melted. She nodded and returned the smile, a huge weight lifted from her shoulders. And based on the relieved look on Carmilla’s face she felt the same.

The rest of class went by slowly, but without incident. When the bell finally rang Laura packed up her stuff in record time and stood at Carmilla’s desk until she too was ready.

“Can I walk you to your next class?”

“It’s the end of the day Laura.”

“Oh. Right. Walk you to the parking lot then? Or wherever you’re meeting Mattie?”

“You’re really looking for any excuse to spend time with me huh Hollis?”

“Yeah.”

It was a far more honest answer than either of them were expecting, but Laura didn’t take it back. Plus Carmilla was laughing now so she was glad she said it.

“Cupcake, you flirt.”

Laura punched her in the arm and started walking out of the room, a still laughing Carmilla trailing after her. 

“You know Mattie has a student council meeting, might not be for another half an hour. So you’ll have plenty of time in my lovely company.”

Laura couldn’t help but chuckle at that, “I suppose you’re right.”

They walked in silence for a moment, Laura no longer having a destination in mind. Carmilla went quiet after a few seconds and Laura knew what she was going to say before she even opened her mouth. “I’m sorry but I have to ask, yesterday was that like—”

Laura grimaced when Carmilla started talking and then waved her arms about to get her to stop. “Look, I honestly don’t know. I’m sorry, can we just deal with it another time?”

Carmilla nodded immediately. “Of course, whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“When did Carmilla Karnstein get so considerate?”

“I’ve always been a true sweetheart, you were just too blinded by my rugged charm to notice.”

Laura would’ve said something witty (really she would’ve come up with something very clever) but before she could she heard a familiar voice calling her name.

“Laura! There you are,” Laf practically yelled, jogging over.

Laura schooled her expression and unconsciously took a step towards Carmilla. “Uh, hey Laf…? Sorry about lunch, I had a, uh, thing.”

Laura cringed at how painfully awkward she was being, and waited for the inevitable. Laf looked between them and nodded sagely before turning to Laura. “You okay then, frosh?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

Her response was mostly on instinct, but she realised quickly that she really meant it. Everything had felt so overwhelming yesterday, but honestly now things were starting to feel normal. Well not normal, better than normal. All of her anxieties about today seemed rather silly after actually seeing Carmilla. The girl was weirdly sweet and chivalrous —in her own way— of course she would understand.

“So you sprinting through the halls yesterday wasn’t because of Carm here? That’s a relief, I was worried something happened,” They said it like a joke, but there was clear concern still in their voice.

“Oh, Carm didn’t do anything,” Laura said as casually as she could. That seemed to be all Carmilla needed to relax completely. Well that and the distraction of something new to tease Laura about.

She hadn’t entirely processed the nickname she used until it was already out of her mouth. Laf and Carmilla stopped and turned to her with matching looks of shock. Then Laf burst out into the smuggest grin Laura had ever seen, while Carmilla bit her lip and turned away slightly.

“I mean, Laf just said it, and I didn’t think— it just slipped out… Sorry.”

Laf was fully laughing at this point and Laura was sure her face was red. She was about to start rambling excuses again when she felt Carmilla wrap her arms around Laura’s neck and heard her mutter, “it’s fine by me, Cutie.”

Laura was fully melting and didn’t even register Laf awkwardly excusing themselves. Carmilla said goodbye to Laf, but didn’t move her arms from around Laura. Instead she moved her chin to rest on Laura’s shoulder. Laura barely knew what to do when Carmilla flirted with her, much less with half her weight draped over Laura, so her brain seemed to have short circuited.

“This okay?”

Laura couldn’t quite formulate words with Carmilla’s voice so close to her ear so she just nodded, probably a bit too enthusiastically. But she really was. She was starting to think she had no reason to not be okay anymore, not around Carmilla at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a lovely day!

**Author's Note:**

> This was kind of inspired by Love, Simon if you couldn't tell already, but I decided not to put it in the tags cause it doesn't really follow that storyline past the emailing thing.


End file.
